Devin asked me why I was glaring at my knitting, and I explained to her what had happened (not why or how, because I'm at a loss to explain why or how I have 84 front stitches and 96 back ones), and she said, "Oooh. That's not good-- you need those stitches."
Yes, yes I do. Damn.
While I'm cooking up some way to fix this that does not involve ripping back several days of knitting or leave me with a weird rippling front and center, I've been spinning for some measure of calm.